A Very Honest Post About Running

As you can tell by scrolling through my site this is my first post in a very VERY long time. I didn’t even write up my Swim Serpentine recap because I just had no omph to share my experience when things in that race didn’t go to plan. 

For the past six weeks I have meant to be following a running plan (0-5 mile) to get myself in a position to start Marathon training once more come November. Aka – next week! Have I done it? No. Why? I just couldn’t be bothered. 

My Mr pointed out to me today as I sat there and complained I couldn’t go running due to an ovarian cyst currently causing all sorts of Havoic with my insides, that I only ever seem to want to run when I can’t just to prove people wrong. 

At first I got offended. But then I realised he was right. 

I only want to run when I see others running or when people tell me I can’t or I’m not good enough at it. I’m not really interested in the training part or the fun part – I’m interested in the challenge itself. That’s why I set myself these challenges in the first place. I mean how am I ever going to BQ (marathon in 3hr 30m) realistically without collapsing dead! It’s not in my genes. 

Every time I go out for a run it’s hard. It fucks with my head because I feel like I’m failing, yet I love feeling free while I’m out on the road. It leaves me high and dry for serval hours afterwards despite the distance I’ve run, so I avoid it because I feel I can’t share my struggles, just my highs. 

So what am I going to do about it? 

Prove myself wrong that’s what. 

I’m not going to quit no matter how much I want to hide in a hole. 

I’m going to continue being a member of my running club regardless of my fear of embarrassment because I’ll always be the slow one who brings the club rankings down that collapses at the finish line. 

I will be an Ironman & world marathon major medal holder no matter what anyone tells me because you only live once. So why hold back? 

I hate running because my body isn’t designed for it. The mechanics aren’t there. I love running because it’s the biggest challenge I have. I love running because it makes me feel invincible when crossing that line & no other hobby has come close to feeing the same way. 

I’m not throwing anything away while I still have a fighting chance. 

Posts created 855

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Posts

Begin typing your search term above and press enter to search. Press ESC to cancel.

Back To Top